The last 8 months have been a careful balancing act of going through the motions and feeling very out of control in different areas of my life. Sometimes I felt like I was just hanging on to the swing and hoping to not fall off. These times were interspersed with moments of pure joy and freedom when I was running, riding my bike or swimming. For during those times I could forget my present problems and just focus on my breath, movement and the feeling of my body moving through space. There is something healing and meditative about only thinking about your breathing and doing your workouts for the day. It takes you out of the present and into a primal state where the very basic needs of air, water and rest are all that matters. It also helps to have a husband and support system that understand why you need to do this to function and have some sense of normalcy in your world.
I’ve spent a lot of time this last year dialing into my effort levels instead of numbers and results. When we started seriously working on this last summer I had no idea how freeing and healing this would be once I embraced the change. It is interesting to look back and see that this is something my coaches and a friend have been moving me towards for the last 6 years through their counsel and example. I always thought this was mainly applicable to sport until this last year of my life happened. Now I see how it was the key I was missing to unlocking happiness within myself and acceptance. It also reminds me to look at the effort levels that I put into my relationships and everything that makes up my life.
I’ve wasted a lot of time holding on tightly to a swing that I had limited control over. Sometimes we are forced to let go of all we know and find a new normal. Other times if we are lucky we have people in our lives who care enough about us to coax us into letting go and seeing what we’ve been missing this whole time. Think about what it feels like to swing high in the air and feel free of anything but the joy of being in the air and happy. I believe if we are open and look for those opportunities they are out there waiting for us in our daily lives. We just have to let go and look for them.
fitnfeistygirl 